Fundamental Shifts in Thinking

Picture by Keith Galick - A Project 365 Photography Blog

I often find it interesting when children and young adults experience a fundamental shift in their thinking. I think it’s our minds way of slowly maturing into adulthood which is both wonderful and exciting but for most of us, the lucky ones, we aren’t rushed into adult thinking all at once. For most of us, we take individual steps bringing us closer to a more mature way of thinking.

How old were you when you learned the concept of “saving the best for last”? I watch my children at every meal tearing into their favorite food items with wild abandon and then grudgingly and often with great rebellion eating what is left. However, I distinctly remember being about Loretta’s age when I would eat some of the dreaded veggies first very purposefully leaving one or two bites of my favorite item for last so that would be the last flavor I experienced for the meal.


Remember when you seemed physically incapable of NOT jumping into the rain puddle? Sam, at 20 months seems to be driven by some unseen force of nature to stomp and jump in every rain puddle he sees (Loretta and Caroline too for that matter), completely oblivious to the consequences of wet socks and shoes for the remainder of the day.


I remember when a summer shower meant staying outside, singing at the top of our lungs and looking for a rainbow. NOT heading indoors for shelter (unless of course there was lightening and only then because our mom made us).


Remember when getting from point A to B meant only stepping on the green tiles or avoiding any and all sidewalk cracks AND stopping every 10 feet to execute the perfect twirl or whack a tree with a stick? Adult minds are always thinking 10 steps ahead to what needs to be done next (laundry, work, bills, dinner). Children have an innate ability to enjoy and find excitement in the “getting there”.


There have been studies (don’t ask me to reference, I don’t remember the particulars) but basically they pinpointed the approximate age when a child stops seeing in black and white and can recognize shades of gray. The study told a story to children of different ages about a man who stole a loaf of bread for his sick, starving child who needed it desperately. Up to about age 9 or 10 the response was the same, stealing is wrong – the man should be punished. But, about the age of 11 (a little earlier for girls) the children started realizing that there may be times when stealing is justified – not right, but to save a child, perhaps acceptable?


Personally, I will never forget the exact moment when I learned the concept “be careful what you wish for”. It was a hard lesson to learn. I remember hearing the saying and thinking what kind of person wishes for something they don’t really want? Me…apparently. I was no longer happy in a relationship and knew it needed to end, but I didn’t have the courage to end it myself, I didn’t want to hurt the person and wished the person I was with would cheat on me so that I could walk away guilt free. I was young and naive - looking for an easy way out and I had no idea just how much his actions would hurt me.  I learned two very important lessons, one, be careful what you wish for, it may just come true. Two, have the courage to walk away when it’s truly over. I have never forgotten that hard earned wisdom.


I believe these changes in thinking are wonderful and natural, but I also think if you’re not careful you could lose just as much as you have gained.


One of the best gifts about having small children in your life is the opportunity to see the world anew through their eyes. Their little minds have such astonishing ways of interpreting the world around them. For this reason, I remain, fairly young at heart, but when life is crazy with the responsibilities of adulthood we all need a small reminder.


So, here is my hope for myself and my wish for you:


-Even when every fiber of your being is telling you to walk away from that puddle, jump right in (at least occasionally)
-If you stumble or fall, jump right back up, throw your arms in the air and yell “Tada!”
-When at all possible use those railroad ties, curbs and stone walls to practice your balancing beam act
-Play tag in the rain
-When a child asks you to tickle them for the 100th time do it, and then do it again
-Get some grass stains rolling down a hill
-Occasionally, eat your dessert first
-Remember to stop and enjoy the “getting there”
-And keep skipping over the cracks in the sidewalk