double rainbow

double rainbow

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Long Distance Relationships


They say that long distance relationships never work out, but I completely disagree.  Sure there are the typical long distance challenges; separation issues, communication breakdown, the relationship doesn't always meet your needs, the cost of long distance travel and sometimes it's just as simple as your circumstances are different enough that you lose touch and life goes on.  But some long distance relationships are completely and utterly worth the effort.  As a matter of fact, some are so natural and true that they don't feel like an effort at all.

I can honestly say that one of the most meaningful relationships of my life has been, with the exception of a couple of years here and there, almost entirely long distance.  I was reminded recently though that just because this relationship has withstood the test of time, distance, adolescence, college years, many moves, marriages and babies - with long breaks in communication, months between phone calls and sometimes years between in person visits, for more than thirty years doesn't mean that I should take it for granted. 

I'm blessed to have one of those friends who get me.  One that I'm entirely comfortable being myself with, silly, sad, unrealistically optimistic and even in pathetic moments of self doubt.  One who is always on my side even when my side is admittedly unreasonable.  One who can be the voice of reason and on occasion gives me the opportunity to be her voice of reason during her moments of doubt.  No matter how long it's been between visits we fall back into our friendly banter like we are picking up a conversation we started minutes before instead of months ago. 

I know how lucky I am to have my friend in my life and if I'm being honest I'll say it's helping me now more than she knows.  I have another dear friend who seems will soon become a long distance dear friend and I dread the absence it will bring to our lives even while I'm excited beyond measure for her.  Also, because I haven't quite found my way in my new community.  It's significantly harder to establish meaningful friendships when you work full time and your free time consists of soccer matches, swim classes and little friends birthday parties. 

It's harder when you have a three year old that needs constant supervision and intervention. When the other moms are chatting happily I'm stopping Sam from sticking his hand in the cake or running out on the soccer field.  It's harder still when you've moved into a lovely, but established community where it seems everyone has been friends since middle school.  But, as hard as that can be,  I wouldn't trade the friendship I have for a dozen more of the local variety.  We've spent a lifetime perfecting this one and the only thing that could improve it now would be a reduction in the miles between us.