double rainbow

double rainbow

Monday, December 31, 2012

Let it Snow

We woke up to a white Christmas and well, the rest was just perfect.


































Wishing you love, laughter, patience, acceptance, good health and peace of mind and heart in 2013.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Trying to Make Sense of the Incomprehensible

Tonight the girls wanted to talk about Sandy Hook.  They had many questions but mainly they wanted to know why the man did what he did.  I explained to my 7 and 5 year old that he was a very sick man, that his brain was very confused, like scrambled eggs.  He wasn’t thinking normally and if he had been he never would have hurt those people.

Caroline said he should have told his mommy that his brain was mixed up and that he needed help.

Loretta said she thought his brain was so mixed up he didn’t even know he wasn’t thinking “straight”.

Caroline wanted to know why he killed himself and Loretta said it was because he didn’t want to go to jail.  Caroline said that didn’t make sense because jail is better than dead.

So I said again that he wasn’t thinking normally and that he went there to hurt as many people as he could and as soon as he heard the police sirens and knew the “good guys” were coming he killed himself and we may never understand why.  That’s when Caroline suggested that maybe after he hurt everyone he started thinking “straight” again and felt so bad for what he did that he killed himself.  I told her that might be the case.

Loretta mentioned that she felt so sad and sorry for everyone.  “The kids and teachers but also the man because his brain was mixed up”.  I told her I was proud of her for feeling sorry for everyone involved and that I need to and want to, but I was having a hard time b/c I feel so terrible for the people he hurt to feel bad for him. 

Caroline agreed she felt bad for him too because he would never have done it if his brain was thinking straight. 

Then we talked about the brave teachers and children, how teachers helped hide children in closets and bathrooms to keep them safe and how the good guys came so fast and prevented him from hurting even more people.  They asked, so we talked about how many children were killed, "20 – that many???", that they were all 6 and 7 years old, all first graders.  Caroline asked specifically, any 3 year olds? 4 year olds? 5? (Caroline is 5 now), any 8 year olds?  "No sweetie, they were all 6 and 7 years old."

We also talked about how they are all up in heaven now, together.  That they were friends on earth and now they have each other up in heaven too.  That heaven will be like their favorite day ever (beach days or a day building snowmen) and how they get to play with their friends all day long every day in heaven, like hide and seek.  Caroline asked, “If they’re in heaven now then they are angels?”  I let her know she was right and she said, “Angels are GREAT at hide and seek.”

After a few more minutes of this Loretta said, “I think I’m starting to hate that man”.  It was like she was reading my mind…my heart and she was likely taking her cues from me, but Caroline said very firmly, “I don’t hate him because his brain was mixed up.  I don’t like what he did, but I don’t hate him.” 

I, like so many others who have watched this tragedy unfold from afar, have been having a very hard time.  I think about what happened, the children, the parents, a thousand times a day.  I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night with them on my mind and tears in my eyes.  I can’t even begin to imagine what those directly involved are going through, the parents, the first responders, the survivors.   I’ve been feeling so hopeless and heartbroken.  But tonight, with the help and wisdom of my amazing and loving children, one full of sympathy and heartfelt emotion and the other using reason to make sense of it all in her own head, I have started to feel hope again and a little peace has been restored to my heart.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Sometimes It's All About the Laughter

Tarnuzzer Thanksgiving 2012
 
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  We started this morning by listing all the things we are thankful for while snuggling 5 across our queen bed.  Then breakfast with a little Macy's parade on the side.  Then we completed our 2nd Annual Tarnuzzer Turkey Day Trot 5k+.  Then headed over to Mom and Dad T's for family time and dinner. 

It was a gorgeous day, mid 50's and sunny.  We played tackle football in the backyard and tried our best to eat our weight in delicious food.  There was one difference this year though, for the first time the kids had their own table in the family room while the adults (and adorable Tanner) ate at the dining table.  I sat next to Dad T. and as we all talked about parent / teacher conferences and how delicious the spicy green beans and stuffing turned out the kids giddy giggles and straight out laughter was our background noise.  Dad T. mentioned more than once how much he enjoyed hearing that laughter floating in from the other room and I couldn't agree more.  There is no better ambiance and it was probably my favorite moment of the day.  Happy Thanksgiving to you!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Care Bear Caroline

Our sweet girl is as sweet as ever and so very kind to her baby dolls and to Sam.  She is still very independent and self assured.  I hope she holds on to those qualities her whole life long.  She loves to cook and bake and has been known to have John read her recipes from a cookbook instead of a goodnight story.  Like us all, she's wonderfully unique, but somehow her uniqueness is just so incredibly charming.  But don't hold your breath for a kiss or cuddle, b/c if she's not in the mood it won't happen.



Wednesday, October 31, 2012

It's a Family Affair

It's been a fun and busy October and early November.  We've had the usual commitments and goings on like swim and gymnastics, friends birthday parties and homework. 

We were blessed with many gorgeous days which we used to our best advantage by having picnics and trips to the playground.

We went to SC to cheer on Meaghan and Andy for their 1/2 Marathon Triathlon and had an amazing time hanging with our friends after much too long apart. The kids played so well together and Caroline and Izzy were like long lost best friends, Alex was amazing with Sam and Loretta and Devin risked hypothermia jumping great big ocean waves.  It was over way too quickly, but I'm so very glad we went.  I'd missed my friend dearly. 

Loretta completed her very first 5k run at our town loop challenge. She finished 4th in her age group with a time of 39:29, running with John. I pushed Caroline and Sam in the double stroller, so it was a family affair. I think we've begun a new tradition and I figure in another year or two she'll be beating my time. 

There was pumpkin carving and trick-or-treating, cookie baking and zoo visits. I went to Chicago on business and had a wonderful dinner with the Heplers (Katie is expecting a baby boy!). So much to cover that I'll let the pictures do the talking.