All around me is the bloom of new beginnings. The flowering buds on the trees, the tulips in the yard, the lime green baby grass sprouting up. Sammy is crawling, Caroline is in a big girl bed with no paci, John has a new job with great career potential, Loretta is in T-ball.
In some ways watching those around me grow is making me feel happy and proud. I know that my kids achievements are their own and I find immense enjoyment in them, for them. But, for me, I feel like my personal growth has stunted.
My career is officially stagnant and I’m restless and frustrated. Work wise, I’m having a Groundhog Day experience. After 6 years of the same types of project work I’m having the exact same conversations and challenges I did years ago but now it simply lacks originality. I find that comic strips like Dilbert and movies like Office Space are a surprisingly accurate depiction of my work life and while at one time I found that amusing now it’s just sad.
I was beginning to think maybe the issue was that I’m not getting enough fulfillment at work, and that is AN issue, but perhaps not THE issue. I think it’s time I look elsewhere for my fulfillment. Twelve years ago, when I was a social worker, it made sense to seek that through my work. The value I brought was evident in the reconciliation of families, the adoption of children, the last wishes of a patient. But decisions I made back then (which I don’t regret) have changed me. Time changes all of us; our priorities change and we recognize that where we bring the most value, where we get the most fulfillment may actually be at home and from our family. I may not be significantly touching lives through my work, but I am at home. My job allows me to give my children a roof over their head, healthy meals, health insurance, pre-k, gymnastics, swim, and sports. I’m helping them bloom and in doing so, while I may not feel like I’m blooming myself, I realize that I’m growing my family’s roots and I can’t think of anything more fulfilling than that.
In some ways watching those around me grow is making me feel happy and proud. I know that my kids achievements are their own and I find immense enjoyment in them, for them. But, for me, I feel like my personal growth has stunted.
My career is officially stagnant and I’m restless and frustrated. Work wise, I’m having a Groundhog Day experience. After 6 years of the same types of project work I’m having the exact same conversations and challenges I did years ago but now it simply lacks originality. I find that comic strips like Dilbert and movies like Office Space are a surprisingly accurate depiction of my work life and while at one time I found that amusing now it’s just sad.
I was beginning to think maybe the issue was that I’m not getting enough fulfillment at work, and that is AN issue, but perhaps not THE issue. I think it’s time I look elsewhere for my fulfillment. Twelve years ago, when I was a social worker, it made sense to seek that through my work. The value I brought was evident in the reconciliation of families, the adoption of children, the last wishes of a patient. But decisions I made back then (which I don’t regret) have changed me. Time changes all of us; our priorities change and we recognize that where we bring the most value, where we get the most fulfillment may actually be at home and from our family. I may not be significantly touching lives through my work, but I am at home. My job allows me to give my children a roof over their head, healthy meals, health insurance, pre-k, gymnastics, swim, and sports. I’m helping them bloom and in doing so, while I may not feel like I’m blooming myself, I realize that I’m growing my family’s roots and I can’t think of anything more fulfilling than that.
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