The Wall

I think I’ve finally hit the wall. I’ve seen it looming in the distance for months and months extending out in both directions as far as the eye can see. At first I tried to ignore it. Then I tried to figure out a less painful way to traverse around it (vs. climbing the monster), maybe a shortcut or ramp or something, but there isn’t an easier way. Once I thought I had hit it, but I was only kidding myself. I was still too full of excuses and running on empty where motivation and willpower were concerned. And sleep, precious sleep.

As I get closer the wall seems to get taller, towering over me. It’s taunting me, telling me to give up, that I don’t have a chance. I know better though, I’ve been here before, clambered up this same wall a time or two. I look up and it seems to go on endlessly. Any hopes that it will have steps or at least crevices to grab hold to are dashed. It’s a slick wall, straight up, and it’s going to take a ton of sweat, determination, and a lot of time to climb it. I’m sure I’ll slip a few times and come sliding back down. I can only hope that I grab back on quickly and start climbing again to reduce the damage to my momentum. That I don’t crash back down to the ground and give up all together . What’s on the other side you ask? My normal, pre-pregnancy body is on the other side of that wall. It’s the body that I’m NOT ashamed of when I see its reflection. The body that is strong and healthy.

It’s time to reclaim my body.